Banana Bee's

Woo!!! 


What if the reason we are running out of bee's is because they fell in love with bananas and created a awful race of banana bees. They will sit peacefully in the fruit bowl eating the fructose from the other fruits, then when they are sucked dry or the banana bee is the only thing there then they will fly off in search of tasty sugar based joy. The africanised banana-bees will be much more vicious and attack all the peoples, stabbbing them in the tasty neck meat of humans. 

Well I assume its tasty, thats why there is the whole vampire thing going on there right? Zombies are not to picky they will just eat the any parts. Obviously they prefer the tasty brains. I feel like lichs or goblins should eat the breast meat or hips of people. That way, if there was ever a rampant uprising of mythological creatures, at least then they would be able to share and all the humans would provide food for a mass of creatures. Rather than just the necks and heads of humans being used as food/a way of reproduction. Actually... eww...


Wait a second, that picture of a banana bee doesnt even have a mouth! Those wings wont support him! Silly thing. How is he going to fly around and attack things in order to gain the sugary goodness of sugar sources without a mouth? That doesnt make sense. Silly banana bee!!!

Procrastinating

I really feel like I should be doing something important... perhaps washing the ceilings or start a knitting collection. Anything other than this coursework thats plaguing me. After a massively long month of assignments is taking it toll on my brain juices. Creativity is started to dry up and congeal around the corners of my brain as the evil education robots try to turn it into a functioning member of society... 

See!! All my magical rainbow thoughts are being replaced with disjointed thoughts about office work and incorrect mathematical formula. Which is strange since I dont even study maths, also this post is getting way too serious for my liking.


We should totally have education robots though, they would be much more effective in schools that teachers with all their no hitting the stupid outta kids policy. Dont know the alphabet? How about a laser to the face? That will encourage you to learn! Actually it will just be a lasered kid thats too scared to speak let alone recite the alphabet... perhaps education robots shouldnt be took quick to attack with lasers. If we simply equip them with improv based insults for the smart ass kids that insist on winding up teachers knowing nothing can be done to them? That might work out badly as well though, they could malfunction and go on a hilarious insult based comedy rampage. Causing a devastating outbreak of low self esteem amongst the future generations, forcing them all to run towards the ice cream counter to eat away their sorrows in a tasty frozen treat. Then we will have an outbreak of diabetes and health problems caused by overweight children which will destroy the world. This future is bleak, no education robots until we have perfected the technology...

Concerning giraffes

How awesome would it be if giraffes had springs instead of knees? Like some form of mutated pogo animals hybrid monster? They would be all like "Wooo Africaville" or where ever it is that giraffes live... I assume its Africa... mostly because thats where lions are right? They are obviously the only predator of giraffes? Who else is gonna see a giant long necked monster ripping leaves from trees and smelling each others pee and want to eat the hell out of that? No one thats who! Well maybe that insane balloon wearing rollar skating goat.. but he had a name and more than likely is a herbivore. Its funny because Im not even joking about the pee thing, to the google if you dont believe me.
Anyway knees are over-rated and springs should be the ultimate form of new-age knees. They are all like boing!!! How about that then? Lions gonna eat ya? Nope because you can just jump up and kick them in the chin.
What would make it even cooler is if the great plains of Africaville was made of trampoline covered in sand, then pogo knees and trampoline would make super mega awesome spring mounted jumping doom creations.

See! Wait I promised fish eating and returned with giraffes. Ah well. I made brownies so life is automatically good. Also for the record its really hard to draw springs being on the inside of knees, but you can clearly see the bouncing joy of spring knees. Except for when they fall over and die in such a way that their neck decides to fold at 90degrees to stay in the picture frame. They are so considerate that way. Seriously I cant find a simple way to make a tiny circle to symbolise degrees I have to manually type it out? That smells. I can get a giraffe to whip you in the face blogger type device!!!

brain vs hands

I seriously dont have the ability to make pictures. My brain is all like pwoah!!! and poosh and bwing. Then my hands are all like, thats just silly I can draw a squiggle. Thats what you wanted right mr brain? Then my brain starts to splode in anger because thats not what it meant and the hands know that! They cant be this dumb they must be doing it on purpose! 
Then when my hands finally submit to doing what Mr.Brain wanted, he makes a load of stuff get written that doesnt correspond to what the original picture was about in any sense of the word. Making the hands look incompetent once more even after they tried super hard to make stuff work. They will probably give up soon and just draw stick figures then the wonderful creations of the brain will never be placed in the outside world in an attempt to make sane things happen. 
Next week I eat a fish.

Chocolate joy!

Twas the day of zombie chocolate joy yesterday. Obviously the entire parts of the world that follow the righteous path of commercialism celebrated the day by feasting upon chocolate eggs distributed by a giant magical rabbit. The wizard rabbit is beloved by children of all ages from all areas, for the tasty magical powers. I like to think he is called Bertram and it all started up as a hobby, for his 8th birthday he got a magic kit and spent the the following three months practising magical card tricks and pulling coins from the ears of his peers. It would have taken a large amount of time for him to master the coin thing as rabbits tend not to have hair and have very prominent ears. Eventually he would have lost interest in magic but his grandma rabbit continued to buy him magical accessories as she loved the tricks and the mystery he was able to perform and obviously wanted the best for him. Bertram became frustrated with the magical toys as they were only tricks not real magic. After a heated argument about the childish toys he was still getting on his 14th birthday his grandma collapsed and was rushed to hospital, when Bertram tried to visit her he was turned away. She was still very upset about how he had reacted and refused to see him until he could show he was grateful. 
Bertram had no idea how to prove this so sat on a rock overlooking a pond and sulked like a teenage rabbit. Eventually he realised he loved his grandma rabbit and would love magic if it was real, to show her how much she had inspired him he would learn real magic! He tried to find a real wizard to teach him the mystical ways but the head of the rabbit council told him it was impossible. Heartbroken he hopped dejectedly across the fields he called home, until he came across the zombie king. The zombie king being a tiny evil frog. After listening to much begging and pleading he granted the hopeful teenage bunny the magical powers of wizardry, but it turned out to be a terrible curse for the zombie king's powers would only work if zombiehood was granted as well. Unfortunately, whilst Bertram was now undead he was not immortal and this would prove to be his undoing. However he was young and did not think of the consequences, instead he hopped merrily to his grandma and show how much she had inspired him. She recovered and for a while all was well, until Bertram began using his powers selfishly and bringing shame to those who loved him. He became so terrible and selfish, he made piles of chocolate covered carrots appear and ate them in front of hungry bunnies and when the prettiest bunny at school refused to go to the dance with him he enacted a terrible vengeance. The school warren began to burn to the ground and tunnels collapsed. The zombie king looked on and knew that teenage angst and zombie powers do not go together, but Bertram had begged for the power and now he must be punished. 
Three weeks later Bertram visited his grandma and asked her for help, he realised he was out of control and not using his powers the way he should. Magic had been a thing of joy for him once and he wanted to use it to bring joy to others but he did not know how. He also knew the other rabbits would be afraid of him for he had caused horrible things to happen and the head of the rabbit council was advising everyone to stay away from him claiming he was a monster. As he was talking the zombie king jumped out and started biting his head, he caused no permanent harm as he had heard how Bertram wished to change but it was enough to scare the young rabbit even more. He begged the zombie king for one more favour and the king said he would consider it. Bertram wished for a way to make up for the wrongs he had done and to bring joy to everyone, this was granted but he was warned that the previous powers given to him along with the new magic meant that if he did not bring joy to children every year then his magic would stop working and the zombie powers would leave him. Bertram assured his grandma and the zombie king that if he was not making people happy then his powers would be useless anyway. He then dedicated a day to bring children of all species joy, for the humans it was in the form of delicious chocolatey goodness. He had to create a factory in his mind to vary between the different types of chocolate and it made him very sad. However seeing the joy brought to the faces of children on easterday morning made it all worth while and Bertram was at peace. Almost every month he does something special to try to make everyone happy, whilst in the winter months he rests and recovers as zombie powers are draining. But he is happy, for he is finally able to bring joy to people using his magical powers and now he is at peace in his heart. 

These words took far too long to write and the story got ridiculously dark.... I got a giant kinder easter egg though, I love eating chocolate and finding toys inside it ^_^