I saw a bear dance on the moon.
His eyes were large,
and his teeth were pointy,
yet his glee was forever lasting.
Diamond eyes looked across the land,
when light reflected across them
lasers shot out and stabbed anything
that was seen by the diamond eyes of the bear
how joyous it is to dance in your own personal laser show!
Sunday, 20 May 2012
Tuesday, 8 May 2012
Aliens are among us...
When most people think of aliens, these things come to mind:
Im not really sure why, maybe humans are drawn to super sleek silver sexy things? Though ok thats not really super sleek and silver its more slightly wavy and broken, but hush dear readers pretend tis the alien of your hearts desire...
Yeah thats a little weird... and by a little I mean I may have just ruined the stereotypical aliens for myself and anyone else who saw that. Also I think its kind of obvious that I have no idea about cars... for starters I have a serious thought that red is the go to colour for making cars look awesome. Also no cars let alone sporty ones look like that... moving on from that monstrosity I think.
I mean when people talk about aliens, they always talk about the little green men coming to get you. Yet its the silver aliens to come get you, sitting there watching. Ok opinions have changed now, with the awesome powers of doctor who aliens are all sorts of different types of cool. However when I was a child I thought that all aliens looked like this:
It may have been that I was really hungry for jelly a lot of the time. But I really wanted those kind of aliens to exist, I drew them all the time. There was once a happy family of aliens but Im not drawing that because it took far too long to draw one on his own using this silly touchpad... ok maybe... anyway Mr Glorganblatz works for the government. He dislikes his job but someone must do it and by doing it he ensures that his family is never subject to the horror of removal from society. At least from the time being... but it is a very large planet and a very overcrowded society filled with many luxuries. The loss of a few every now and again goes unnoticed and is generally viewed as a good thing as those taken are trouble makers and a menace to the pristine society. Once they are returned from their punishment then they will be much better behaved and will appreciate their world much more.
Mr Glorganblatz, condenses the trouble makers into tiny delicious cubes of jelly. Though these aliens are quiet big and dont like the whole being condensed thing, so they generally turn into long slabs of the jelly cubes. These are then sent to a distant planet for re-education... originally some of these were returned but as more and more jelly slabs were sent to the planet, the time between returning them grew longer and longer. More were being sent though and some of the higher ups in government fretted that the small planet they were sending the wrong doers to was going to get overflowed. When this concern was portrayed to the planet, they responded that as it was not a widely known thing amongst the general public it was taking a long time to re-educate some of the creatures. However some of the creatures could not be taught better they were rotten to the core. The planet wanted to know if they should execute the prisoners or sent them back to be executed. There was a long deliberation in the government of the jelly like people. Eventually it was decided that their planet was so overcrowded there was no point trying to sent back someone only for public execution. Instead they asked the planet to dispose of the ones who could not be taught better. This was done. Over time the planet said that the aliens were resistant to change and would beg for death rather than be sent back. The planet stopped sending back aliens very often. It was worrying but also a blessing the wondrous planet that the aliens reside on was becoming more and more overcrowded and it was often thought that if the betrayers were capable of change then they would simply over-crowd the planet and revert to their old ways. So they secretly requested that after an initial interview and a time period of one lunar cycle there was no change then the prisoners simply be executed. The planter agreed, but soon it was requesting more prisoners, saying that they had built such a large facility but it was going to waste... It was around this time that the government noticed the usually skinny members of the prisoner planet were looking rather well fed and pudgy around the middle... a horrifying thought occurred but then no one dared to question it. Still it hovered in the air above the government... what if earth was eating the jellies? To curb the ravenous appetite it was agreed that all jelliens near death or dead would be transformed and sent as a gift to appease the hungry earthlings... time was precious...
Since that tale was rather dark please enjoy this picture of Mr Glorganblatz and his family.
I feel bad, jelly and ice cream will surely make me feel better after writing that...
Im not really sure why, maybe humans are drawn to super sleek silver sexy things? Though ok thats not really super sleek and silver its more slightly wavy and broken, but hush dear readers pretend tis the alien of your hearts desire...
Yeah thats a little weird... and by a little I mean I may have just ruined the stereotypical aliens for myself and anyone else who saw that. Also I think its kind of obvious that I have no idea about cars... for starters I have a serious thought that red is the go to colour for making cars look awesome. Also no cars let alone sporty ones look like that... moving on from that monstrosity I think.
I mean when people talk about aliens, they always talk about the little green men coming to get you. Yet its the silver aliens to come get you, sitting there watching. Ok opinions have changed now, with the awesome powers of doctor who aliens are all sorts of different types of cool. However when I was a child I thought that all aliens looked like this:
It may have been that I was really hungry for jelly a lot of the time. But I really wanted those kind of aliens to exist, I drew them all the time. There was once a happy family of aliens but Im not drawing that because it took far too long to draw one on his own using this silly touchpad... ok maybe... anyway Mr Glorganblatz works for the government. He dislikes his job but someone must do it and by doing it he ensures that his family is never subject to the horror of removal from society. At least from the time being... but it is a very large planet and a very overcrowded society filled with many luxuries. The loss of a few every now and again goes unnoticed and is generally viewed as a good thing as those taken are trouble makers and a menace to the pristine society. Once they are returned from their punishment then they will be much better behaved and will appreciate their world much more.
Mr Glorganblatz, condenses the trouble makers into tiny delicious cubes of jelly. Though these aliens are quiet big and dont like the whole being condensed thing, so they generally turn into long slabs of the jelly cubes. These are then sent to a distant planet for re-education... originally some of these were returned but as more and more jelly slabs were sent to the planet, the time between returning them grew longer and longer. More were being sent though and some of the higher ups in government fretted that the small planet they were sending the wrong doers to was going to get overflowed. When this concern was portrayed to the planet, they responded that as it was not a widely known thing amongst the general public it was taking a long time to re-educate some of the creatures. However some of the creatures could not be taught better they were rotten to the core. The planet wanted to know if they should execute the prisoners or sent them back to be executed. There was a long deliberation in the government of the jelly like people. Eventually it was decided that their planet was so overcrowded there was no point trying to sent back someone only for public execution. Instead they asked the planet to dispose of the ones who could not be taught better. This was done. Over time the planet said that the aliens were resistant to change and would beg for death rather than be sent back. The planet stopped sending back aliens very often. It was worrying but also a blessing the wondrous planet that the aliens reside on was becoming more and more overcrowded and it was often thought that if the betrayers were capable of change then they would simply over-crowd the planet and revert to their old ways. So they secretly requested that after an initial interview and a time period of one lunar cycle there was no change then the prisoners simply be executed. The planter agreed, but soon it was requesting more prisoners, saying that they had built such a large facility but it was going to waste... It was around this time that the government noticed the usually skinny members of the prisoner planet were looking rather well fed and pudgy around the middle... a horrifying thought occurred but then no one dared to question it. Still it hovered in the air above the government... what if earth was eating the jellies? To curb the ravenous appetite it was agreed that all jelliens near death or dead would be transformed and sent as a gift to appease the hungry earthlings... time was precious...
Since that tale was rather dark please enjoy this picture of Mr Glorganblatz and his family.
I feel bad, jelly and ice cream will surely make me feel better after writing that...
Wednesday, 2 May 2012
Im sleepy
Im sleepy... so so sleepy, so much so I feel the need for the first two words and the title to be the same thing! Bet no one else has ever been that sleepy... except for most other lazy people, or those that forget to update their title after writing blog based words.
I dont know what to write about though, I just feel like writing words down and doing a merry jig. How I would manage to do a jig whilst trying not to fall asleep is beyond me though. I suspect it would be quiet horrific, you have to imagine what Im drawing because I dont know what it is yet. Also anything you imagine will undoubtedly be more better than what a dull doodle done by me will look like, unless it involves dinoplanes or raptercopters or even possibly a creature with the face of an orange and the wings of a dragon.
I need something fluffy and warm! Only warm fuzz will stop the sleepy/ill feelings. I drew a dragon but he doesnt have a story yet, I feel really bad for him :(
I dont know what to write about though, I just feel like writing words down and doing a merry jig. How I would manage to do a jig whilst trying not to fall asleep is beyond me though. I suspect it would be quiet horrific, you have to imagine what Im drawing because I dont know what it is yet. Also anything you imagine will undoubtedly be more better than what a dull doodle done by me will look like, unless it involves dinoplanes or raptercopters or even possibly a creature with the face of an orange and the wings of a dragon.
I need something fluffy and warm! Only warm fuzz will stop the sleepy/ill feelings. I drew a dragon but he doesnt have a story yet, I feel really bad for him :(
Friday, 27 April 2012
Banana Bee's
Woo!!!
What if the reason we are running out of bee's is because they fell in love with bananas and created a awful race of banana bees. They will sit peacefully in the fruit bowl eating the fructose from the other fruits, then when they are sucked dry or the banana bee is the only thing there then they will fly off in search of tasty sugar based joy. The africanised banana-bees will be much more vicious and attack all the peoples, stabbbing them in the tasty neck meat of humans.
Well I assume its tasty, thats why there is the whole vampire thing going on there right? Zombies are not to picky they will just eat the any parts. Obviously they prefer the tasty brains. I feel like lichs or goblins should eat the breast meat or hips of people. That way, if there was ever a rampant uprising of mythological creatures, at least then they would be able to share and all the humans would provide food for a mass of creatures. Rather than just the necks and heads of humans being used as food/a way of reproduction. Actually... eww...
Wait a second, that picture of a banana bee doesnt even have a mouth! Those wings wont support him! Silly thing. How is he going to fly around and attack things in order to gain the sugary goodness of sugar sources without a mouth? That doesnt make sense. Silly banana bee!!!
What if the reason we are running out of bee's is because they fell in love with bananas and created a awful race of banana bees. They will sit peacefully in the fruit bowl eating the fructose from the other fruits, then when they are sucked dry or the banana bee is the only thing there then they will fly off in search of tasty sugar based joy. The africanised banana-bees will be much more vicious and attack all the peoples, stabbbing them in the tasty neck meat of humans.
Well I assume its tasty, thats why there is the whole vampire thing going on there right? Zombies are not to picky they will just eat the any parts. Obviously they prefer the tasty brains. I feel like lichs or goblins should eat the breast meat or hips of people. That way, if there was ever a rampant uprising of mythological creatures, at least then they would be able to share and all the humans would provide food for a mass of creatures. Rather than just the necks and heads of humans being used as food/a way of reproduction. Actually... eww...
Wait a second, that picture of a banana bee doesnt even have a mouth! Those wings wont support him! Silly thing. How is he going to fly around and attack things in order to gain the sugary goodness of sugar sources without a mouth? That doesnt make sense. Silly banana bee!!!
Procrastinating
I really feel like I should be doing something important... perhaps washing the ceilings or start a knitting collection. Anything other than this coursework thats plaguing me. After a massively long month of assignments is taking it toll on my brain juices. Creativity is started to dry up and congeal around the corners of my brain as the evil education robots try to turn it into a functioning member of society...
See!! All my magical rainbow thoughts are being replaced with disjointed thoughts about office work and incorrect mathematical formula. Which is strange since I dont even study maths, also this post is getting way too serious for my liking.
We should totally have education robots though, they would be much more effective in schools that teachers with all their no hitting the stupid outta kids policy. Dont know the alphabet? How about a laser to the face? That will encourage you to learn! Actually it will just be a lasered kid thats too scared to speak let alone recite the alphabet... perhaps education robots shouldnt be took quick to attack with lasers. If we simply equip them with improv based insults for the smart ass kids that insist on winding up teachers knowing nothing can be done to them? That might work out badly as well though, they could malfunction and go on a hilarious insult based comedy rampage. Causing a devastating outbreak of low self esteem amongst the future generations, forcing them all to run towards the ice cream counter to eat away their sorrows in a tasty frozen treat. Then we will have an outbreak of diabetes and health problems caused by overweight children which will destroy the world. This future is bleak, no education robots until we have perfected the technology...
We should totally have education robots though, they would be much more effective in schools that teachers with all their no hitting the stupid outta kids policy. Dont know the alphabet? How about a laser to the face? That will encourage you to learn! Actually it will just be a lasered kid thats too scared to speak let alone recite the alphabet... perhaps education robots shouldnt be took quick to attack with lasers. If we simply equip them with improv based insults for the smart ass kids that insist on winding up teachers knowing nothing can be done to them? That might work out badly as well though, they could malfunction and go on a hilarious insult based comedy rampage. Causing a devastating outbreak of low self esteem amongst the future generations, forcing them all to run towards the ice cream counter to eat away their sorrows in a tasty frozen treat. Then we will have an outbreak of diabetes and health problems caused by overweight children which will destroy the world. This future is bleak, no education robots until we have perfected the technology...
Wednesday, 25 April 2012
Concerning giraffes
How awesome would it be if giraffes had springs instead of knees? Like some form of mutated pogo animals hybrid monster? They would be all like "Wooo Africaville" or where ever it is that giraffes live... I assume its Africa... mostly because thats where lions are right? They are obviously the only predator of giraffes? Who else is gonna see a giant long necked monster ripping leaves from trees and smelling each others pee and want to eat the hell out of that? No one thats who! Well maybe that insane balloon wearing rollar skating goat.. but he had a name and more than likely is a herbivore. Its funny because Im not even joking about the pee thing, to the google if you dont believe me.
Anyway knees are over-rated and springs should be the ultimate form of new-age knees. They are all like boing!!! How about that then? Lions gonna eat ya? Nope because you can just jump up and kick them in the chin.
What would make it even cooler is if the great plains of Africaville was made of trampoline covered in sand, then pogo knees and trampoline would make super mega awesome spring mounted jumping doom creations.
See! Wait I promised fish eating and returned with giraffes. Ah well. I made brownies so life is automatically good. Also for the record its really hard to draw springs being on the inside of knees, but you can clearly see the bouncing joy of spring knees. Except for when they fall over and die in such a way that their neck decides to fold at 90degrees to stay in the picture frame. They are so considerate that way. Seriously I cant find a simple way to make a tiny circle to symbolise degrees I have to manually type it out? That smells. I can get a giraffe to whip you in the face blogger type device!!!
Anyway knees are over-rated and springs should be the ultimate form of new-age knees. They are all like boing!!! How about that then? Lions gonna eat ya? Nope because you can just jump up and kick them in the chin.
What would make it even cooler is if the great plains of Africaville was made of trampoline covered in sand, then pogo knees and trampoline would make super mega awesome spring mounted jumping doom creations.
See! Wait I promised fish eating and returned with giraffes. Ah well. I made brownies so life is automatically good. Also for the record its really hard to draw springs being on the inside of knees, but you can clearly see the bouncing joy of spring knees. Except for when they fall over and die in such a way that their neck decides to fold at 90degrees to stay in the picture frame. They are so considerate that way. Seriously I cant find a simple way to make a tiny circle to symbolise degrees I have to manually type it out? That smells. I can get a giraffe to whip you in the face blogger type device!!!
Monday, 16 April 2012
brain vs hands
I seriously dont have the ability to make pictures. My brain is all like pwoah!!! and poosh and bwing. Then my hands are all like, thats just silly I can draw a squiggle. Thats what you wanted right mr brain? Then my brain starts to splode in anger because thats not what it meant and the hands know that! They cant be this dumb they must be doing it on purpose!
Then when my hands finally submit to doing what Mr.Brain wanted, he makes a load of stuff get written that doesnt correspond to what the original picture was about in any sense of the word. Making the hands look incompetent once more even after they tried super hard to make stuff work. They will probably give up soon and just draw stick figures then the wonderful creations of the brain will never be placed in the outside world in an attempt to make sane things happen.
Next week I eat a fish.
Then when my hands finally submit to doing what Mr.Brain wanted, he makes a load of stuff get written that doesnt correspond to what the original picture was about in any sense of the word. Making the hands look incompetent once more even after they tried super hard to make stuff work. They will probably give up soon and just draw stick figures then the wonderful creations of the brain will never be placed in the outside world in an attempt to make sane things happen.
Next week I eat a fish.
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